apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i believe in u and ur pee
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
