You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
