quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
