You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
vagina is talking i cant
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
