i would punch a child for taco bell
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize