So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
