I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
