Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Randomize
