I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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