Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
