3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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