What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
that's an acceptable place to lick
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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