Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
