Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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