I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The best revenge is premature balding
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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