When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
