I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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