pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Randomize
