so explain again why im purple
no
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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