I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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