yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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