Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
