we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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