okay pat passed out under dana's car
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
