I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love having hate sex.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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