I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
