Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize