Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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