she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
