i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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