he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
