Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
