apparently the secret to your success is patron
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
