Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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