The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
