i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
