omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
