Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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