Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize