Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
