tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
