new low.... made out with someone while peeing
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
