Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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