I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
