Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she peed on how many people?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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