I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
