good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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