My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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