The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
