No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
