Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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