I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
