I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
