Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
