He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
