it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
