Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize