it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
