We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
