did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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