So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
