whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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