Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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