I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
