He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
