They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
love makes seman taste better
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
