fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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