Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
