quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
