youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this will be a night to untag.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
