this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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