he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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