So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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