Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
