pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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