I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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