I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
