I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
