I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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