Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize