im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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