You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
