Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
