I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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