its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
